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Ask a Juggalo: What's the best way to hook up at the Gathering?

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Q: OK, this question comes from some guy named Cory Scheffer: I'm going to the Gathering of the Juggalos this year and I have never been. I've been a Juggalo for 10 years. I was just wondering what's the best way to hook up at the Gathering? Seems like with girls, it might be easier to hook up at the Gathering than out in the real world.

A: Awesome sauce. OK, flat out, that Juggalo is in for the treat of his life. If you happen to be a Juggalo, the Gathering of the Juggalos is obviously the place to be. It's the Wrestlemania of the year. It's the experience of a lifetime, and each year it's different. It's incredible as far as the land of opportunity of having fun. And it's kind of like Las Vegas: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Plain and simple, this Juggalo is not only looking out for the Midwest Juggalettes, he's not only looking out for the East Coast Juggalettes, he's not only looking out for the Northern Juggalettes, the Southern Juggalettes, the West Coast Juggalettes, he's looking out for the foreign Juggalettes! This cat has the opportunity of meeting Juggallettes and Juggalos — but more important Juggalettes 'cause he's trying to get down. There's Canadian Juggalettes that come in. I've met German Juggalettes that come in. I've met Mexican Juggalettes, Australian Juggalettes, and I know damn well that there was a Japanese Juggalo a few years back at one of the Gatherings.

At the end of the day, it's up to you how much fun you want to have. And I really strongly suggest that the only the right thing to do is to be clean, be healthy, you know. I would be as clean as possible. Continuously be showering.

Usually I average showering at the Gathering four to five times a day. At the end of the day, hygiene is No. 1. The best way to hook up at the Gathering is be fun. Straight up, be fun and really, really, really be as entertaining as possible. Try being resourceful and generous: Help other people have fun. And don't party too hard.

Q: Unconscious people don't have fun.

A: Yes. Absolutely. Nobody wants to pass out. Don't be that guy. Without a doubt, look for the golden opportunities that are there. Talk to as many people as you can. Try to make as many homies as you can. And at the end of the day, it will happen.

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