Hollywood Potato Chips



Ranking right up there with the Arrogant Worms, these thrash punkers are one of North America’s greatest satirical groups. But then again, with song titles like “Don’t Make Me Get My Fat Lazy Ass Off The Couch” and “Christian Or Canadian” (lyrics available upon request), how can they not be? Not only is their logo straight outta the trade rag Variety, inside the booklet their four mugs are depicted in the kind of Hirschfeld-style portraits that used to adorn the walls inside the Brown Derby.

They also have the good taste to cover “Don’t Stop Me Now,” Freddy Mercury’s showbiz paean from Queen’s Jazz album. Even better than that, their publishing company is called ‘Puppety Frenchman Music.’ So take off that ancient Mojo Nixon album and give the Vandals the time of day instead. You’ll be glad you did and, even more, so will they.

And now, by special request:

“It couldn’t be worse from chorus to verse. It sounds like Korn but a little bit worse. Is it Christian or Canadian? It sounds like emo or not so tight screamo. And he keeps saying ‘Him’ so I’m gonna say homo. Is it Christian or Canadian? He’s wearing a sweater like ’98 Vedder. But it’s 2002 and the song could be better. Is it Christian or Canadian? Someone get me a gun!”

E-mail Jeffrey Morgan at letters@metrotimes.com.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at letters@metrotimes.com.

Detroit Metro Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Detroit and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Detroit's true free press free.