Not very long ago, in a galaxy quite nearby, a guy came up with a not-very-clever concept for a really stupid band. San Francisco’s Captured! By Robots was (get this) allegedly conceived by a robot maker named “JBOT,” who fashioned robot-musicians with names like “GTRBOT666” and “The Ape Which Has No Name.” JBOT’s creations (ho ho) rebelled and enslaved their creator (stop, you’re killing me!) but in a cosmic twist, JBOT convinced them to form a rock ’n’ roll band so they could all rock out really hard (hoooo, boy, that’s precious).
Captured! By Robots bills itself as the “World’s Greatest Robotic Rock Band,” which, if that’s the case, means that the rest of the world’s robotic rock bands suck really bad. It’s not the cross between Kraftwerk and Showbiz Pizza — no, that would be better. Instead it’s some tedious crypto-bondage dress-up show riddled with low-rent concepts and production values (see the accompanying DVD). Upon listening, it’s hard not to hear the Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy clucking in disapproval: “Worst. Science. Fiction. Band. Ever.”
Brian J. Bowe writes about music for Metro Times. Send comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.