Only God Knows Why


There's no way to report on this shit rationally, and that's not my job, anyway. So instead I'll poke fun.-JTL

DETROIT--With the announcement this past weekend of her divorce from area Coors Light enthusiast Kid Rock, Pamela Anderson has reportedly bequeathed her left boob to the City of Detroit. “I want to leave something behind,” she called to reporters on her way out of town. City officials were excited about the gift, announcing plans Tuesday morning to mount the so-called “Motor Titty” on a dais above Jefferson Ave., adjacent to Detroit’s iconic Joe Louis fist, which now includes an outstretched index finger. “That thing’s as fake as her marriage to the Kid,” an unnamed city council source said of the boob. “Might as well grab it while we can, and squeeze out some tourism money.”

As for news that Rock was seen canoodling with Eminem's ex-wife-ex Kim Mathers at an area nightspot, the Kid's camp was quiet. "They're just friends," clucked a close friend and insider.



We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.