Dick in a Heart-Shaped Box.

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Girls Aloud “Sound of the Underground”

Holly Valance, “State of Mind”

Britney Spears, “Oops!? I Did it Again”

Janet Jackson, “You Can Be Mine”

Alex Cartana, “Hay Papi”

Girls Aloud, “Wake Me Up”

Sugarbabes, “Red Dress”

Girls Aloud, “The Show”

Shampoo, “Delicious”

t.A.T.u., “Not Gonna Get Us”

Girls Aloud, “All I Need (All I Don’t)”

Danni Minogue, “Don’t Wanna Lose This Groove”

Bananarama, “Look on the Floor (Hypnotic Tango)”

Britney Spears, “I’m a Slave 4 U”

Sugarbabes, “Freak Like Me” - Let’s go all the way redux

Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent”

Rose petals, chocolate sauce, Jared, and those goddamn Vermont Teddy Bears — switch out that stuff for plastic green derbies and vaguely jingoistic Emerald Isle memorabilia that doubles as Budweiser branded merchandise, and Valentine’s Day is just a primer for the St. Patrick’s Day cringe. That’s why my mix for today celebrates music that spends a lot of money to make cringe happen in the most curvaceous way possible. Beyond superficial and beyond manufactured — but still celebrating romance, lust, sex, or eroticism in the broadest way possible — these dance-pop tracks also have all the zing money can buy, a propulsive whir lifted from disco, house, and Hi-NRG, and the underwire of 25 years of pop music history, from ABBA and Olivia Newton John to Madonna, Janet Jackson, freestyle, and the flat spin of the Spice Girls.

It’s delicious, and it’s running wild in the city late at night.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

JTL

Check the slick, fun new Sugarbabes/Girls Aloud collabo, a re-re-make of "Walk this Way."

Check Shampoo's romping 1994 clip for "Delicious," a song that was Girl Power and Paris Hilton before anyone gave a shit (or didn't give a shit) about either.

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