"I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING"

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We're a tad disappointed that Ted Nugent himself hasn't weighed in on my review of his ghastly new album that ran in the paper this week. Perhaps that sounds like we think that the review is more important than it really is in the grand scheme of things ... but my good friend Gregg Turner, he of the legendary Angry Samoans and now a math professor in Santa Fe, N.M., reminded me today of his negative review of "Terrible" Ted that ran in CREEM nearly 30 years ago, after which Ted was calling the Birmingham offices for Gregg's home address so he could hunt him down with his bow and arrow. "Way too homo-erotic for my tastes," comments Gregg.

Also, Ted may feel like he answered all his critics in the editorial he wrote this week for the Waco Tribune-Herald (his new adopted hometown is Waco, Texas -- again, you can't make this shit up) in which he sorta defended his onstage suggestion of sticking a machine gun in the mouths of Democratic presidential candidates Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Sen. Barack Obama (and also equates himself with Richard Pryor and Sam Kinison... because, I guess, the Gernonimo and Sitting Bull comparisons on the new LP weren't ludicrous enough):

"Lots of people are scared to death of [my] passion, spirit and uncompromising rhythm-and-blues-infested hyper rock-'n'-roll," he writes. "The bombastic volume alone causes wimps to scatter like cockroaches under a spotlight ... For more than seven years, during the crescendo of my nightly rockouts, I have been railing against the left-wing socialist Democrats with gestures of outrageous defiance.

"I apologize for nothing," he concludes. "I rock. I stand. I celebrate freedom as long as no laws are broken and no one gets hurt."

You can read the whole beautiful thing here.

We have been getting responses to the review from Ted fans and foes, however. It even revived a thread on the Velvet Rope music chatboard, which ended up getting locked down by the site's moderator when a certain idiot known as Frehley's Comet started to do the only thing in life that he appears to do well. But, hell, we enjoy it all. So as one of the greatest entertainers in the history of history, Dean Martin, used to say back in the day: "Keep those cards and letters coming in ..."

Yep...

MT illustration by Justin Rose

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