Jack White is apparently attempting to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the most metaphors in a single concert. Yup, it’s come to this.
Here’s what his people are blabbering on about: “The attempt may prove very exhausting and at times even dangerous, but the results could prove to be glorious and possibly even vainglorious. White and Third Man Records are certain that the extremely scientific and intricate analysis of the metaphors that occur will be examined in accordance with Guinness' usually very thorough methods probably, or at the very least if somebody answers the phone at the pub.”
”Third Man Records encourages all attendees of said concerts to please not interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness occur during the show as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question. In addition all concert attendees are encouraged to entice as many metaphors to occur during the show that they possibly can as long as they don't endanger themselves or Mr. White.”
Sheesh. At least make the joke funny, guys.