There are several takeaways from the 92nd Academy Awards, which went down last night, and were, once again, host-less — because who doesn't love a meandering, identity-less award show?
Anyway, director Bong Joon-ho made history when his South Korean dark comedy Parasite took home some of the ceremony's top prizes, including best picture — which made us wonder: did Green Book ever even happen?
Also, lead actor winner Joaquin Phoenix wants us to be vegan, while Renée Zellweger, who took home the statue for her portrayal of Judy Garland, rambled on and on about... actually, we're not sure, but she was giving some major Marianne Williamson energy. There was poorly scripted white feminism via Sigourney Weaver, Gal Gadot, and Brie Larson; actual feminism in the form of Eímear Noone, the Academy's first female conductor ever; James Corden and Rebel Wilson, who reprised their respectful roles as terrifying human cats from last year's massive cinematic flop Cats; and Amazon's billionaire baldy Jeff Bezos was even in attendance, and received a hefty amount of screentime — and, unofficially, won the award for least federal taxes paid. Cool!
Well, it wasn't Good Will Hunting. It was a scene from 2002's 8 Mile, starring one Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, aka a 2003 Oscar winner who took the stage to perform “Lose Yourself” — an 18-year-old song with no timely hook or news peg. OK — so Eminem made history in 2003 when he took home the award for best original song (though he was absent from the ceremony because, you know, they might have sat him next to Christina Aguilera or Fred Durst), as it was the first time a hip-hop song received that distinction.
What would have been great was, say, an Eminem-led medley of previous winners, because we would give our right hand to see Em perform “Let it Go" from Frozen or literally anything by Randy Newman. But, more than that, there was a huge and glaring missed opportunity here, folks.
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