News Hits read with interest the latest scandal involving alleged attorney Geoffrey Fieger.
It wasnt so much the FBI raiding his law firms offices looking for evidence related to allegations that Fieger coerced employees into contributing to the campaign of former presidential candidate John Edwards, an alleged Democrat.
Hey, theyre both trial lawyers. What do you (allegedly) expect?
What tickled us is what appears to be an alleged bit of cosmic irony to the whole mess. You see, within the course of just a few weeks, Fieger best known for defending a serial euthanizer went from being accused of extorting someone else to claiming to be a target of extortion himself.
Let us run down the alleged sequence of events for you:
First, Fieger declares that hes running for state attorney general. The announcement comes as a mild surprise, but isnt a total shock because he ran for governor back in the 90s, only to have alleged Pillsbury Doughboy John Engler kick his alleged ass.
After Fieger declares his desire to become AG, the alleged stud currently sitting in that office, a supposed public servant named Mike Cox, holds a news conference, tearful wife at his side, to claim that Fieger had double-allegedly attempted to extort him. Cox says he was investigating Fiegers stealth-funding of a TV ad attacking Michigan Supreme Court Justice Stephen Markman during the judges re-election bid. Cox explains that, in an attempt to get him to back off the investigation, Fieger had a cohort threaten to expose details about Coxs extramarital affair. (Fieger helpfully issued a press release afterward, saying it wasnt just one alleged dilly-dally, but whos counting?)
If News Hits had any balls, wed allege that Fiegers decision to run for AG was a semi-brilliant ploy aimed at discrediting any charges Cox might bring. It would take Fieger an alleged five seconds to start screaming that the action was the work of an unscrupulous prosecutor willing to do anything to defeat an alleged political rival.
Then, last week, the FBI comes a-raiding, looking for evidence that Fieger coerced employees into giving to Edwards. And before you can say J. Edgar Hoover allegedly wore dresses, theres Fieger saying the attorney accusing him of illegal shenanigans regarding Edwards is in fact a mentally ill former employee who had attempted to extort him, threatening to rat to the feds if Geoffie didnt hand over a couple hundred thou the guy claims was owed to him anyway.
We dont know who allegedly said it first, but the sequence of events is absolutely true: You cant make this kind of alleged shit up.
These guys all deserve each other.
(Note to the Editor: We know you were a little antsy about how the above item was worded, and understand your concern that Fiegers the kind of loose cannon who could end up suing us for libel if we mess up. But we think theres enough alleged language in here to keep us out of court. If youre still not comfortable, let us know and well allegedly sprinkle a few dozen more around.)News Hits is edited by Curt Guyette. Contact the column at 313-202-8004 or NewsHits@metrotimes.com