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Ask a Juggalo: Are there any established Juggalo wedding traditions?

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Q: Are there any established Juggalo wedding traditions?

A: Well, there have definitely been Juggalos that have had their weddings and said their vows at Gathering of the Juggalos. I think that’s fuckin’ awesome and just epic. I really think it’s great that they can conceive children at the Gathering of the Juggalos, or say their vows there. And I don’t just say “The Gathering of the Juggalos,” like that’s the only way you can possibly do these things. Many Juggalo weddings have gone on, whether indoor or outdoor, in the privacy of a couple’s own home or their own backyard or their own hall or their own church, or whatever the case is. I know tons of Juggalos who have gotten married wearing the face paint, if you will. One of my very good friends got married right around 10 years ago, and they got married in the face paint. He wore a very nice suit, and she had a very nice wedding dress on — and they were full-blown rocking the paint, went down the aisle to “Rockin’ the Dead,” which is a very popular Twiztid song. And it was nice! It was in an old church and everything. It was like nothing I’d ever seen.

Now, being Italian, in my culture, we always throw rice and money. But now a lot of the churches and whatnot, because of the mess, will no longer allow you to throw rice. But you best believe, man, the only true way to show homage is to shower the bride and the groom with money. And other European cultures I know also do this. You literally not only give the gift and all that, but you make it rain up in that motherfucker, right on the dance floor. Coinage, silver, gold, fucking currency, you name it, that shit gets spread around.

And I’ve seen where the bridemaids and the groomsmen all have a 2-liter in their hand, and basically pointing it at arms like the military would with their swords, as the bride and the groom walk underneath. And as soon as they’re damn near about to get into their limousine, their van-ousine, or their Juggalomobile, you best believe those two-liters are getting shaken up like no other and those fuckers are getting popped off like it’s Chinese New Year. And all this shit is real, man. It’s very cool. It’s very fucking cool.

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