ROOBY ROOBY ... YUK
Whoever decides when a cartoon begins its hip retro-renaissance has determined "Scooby-Doo" as deserving of its day. In addition to all the T-shirts, toys and even a "South Park" parody, the Scooby-Doo merchandising machine is cooking up Scooby Snacks. At $4.99 a box, it seems reasonable to expect these treats to contain some of the psychoactive properties that the television show always hinted at. Instead, they're just boring vanilla wafers, offering no motivation to solve mysteries or capture ghosts and monsters.
SMELLS LIKE MELLOW
When you feel like a little ethnic tourism, but don't feel like driving to Mexicantown or Greektown, get into a Jamaican mood with officially licensed Bob Marley incense. Put on Marley's Legend, light up a stick of one of these exotic incenses Mellow Mood, Jammin' or Natural Mystic and feel the social justice fill up the room. Packs of 24 10-inch sticks cost $3.50 at www.bobmarley.com.
Presumably, the sturdy exoskeleton roll cage of the DeWalt Tool Co.'s heavy-duty, weather-resistant AM/FM radio/battery charger serves to keep the tunes rocking when the radio is rolling onto the floor. It seems more useful for when the classic rock station plays a Phil Collins song for the hundredth time and you heave the radio like a javelin. Available in the same gaudy yellow color as the rest of the DeWalt power tools at Home Depot for $129.95.
RETURN TO OZ
Firmer. Younger. Even scarier. Ozzy? Yes, the new Ozzy Osbourne action figure is the latest step in the amazing 1990s repackaging of Ozzy. Forget about the flabby, incoherent, coked-up leftover from the '70s and '80s, the new and improved Ozzy has been transformed into a living legend for all the kids who just attended their first Ozzfest. Comes with a bevy of accessories to impress any metalhead: eight bloody doves, seven headless bats, six faux-silver bracelets, three necklaces with crosses, one wooden cross, sunglasses, a cape and one tiny bat head that Ozzy presumably bit off one of the bats. I got it for $14.99 at Suncoast Movies at Fairlane mall.