The story of the Village of Oakley (pop. 286) and its police chief with a force of 112 reservists has fascinated seemingly everyone in the state. Why the hell does a town so small need to have that many volunteer cops on reserve? Well, for one thing, these rich attorneys, doctors, businessmen, and athletes pay big bucks for the honor. One such fellow, Herschel Fink, attorney for the Detroit Free Press, grabbed everyone's attention for his near-freakout over the release of Oakley's reservists. He invoked ISIS — ISIS! — and pleaded with Oakley's board of trustees not to release the names, flying in the face of media attorneys everywhere. Here's to you Fink, we truly hope you've come to grips with the reality of the situation at this point.