Q: Im sure this wont be the only response you receive regarding your advice to OBGYN, the pro-choice girl whose pro-life boy refused to have intercourse with her unless she agreed to have the baby if she got pregnant. Why? Because your advice was totally fucked-up. I take 95 percent of what could be considered liberal positions, Dan, but I happen to be pro-life. For those of us who are pro-life, a fetus is more than a political issue. It truly is a life. Obviously this is the case with OBGYNs boyfriend. What you call his being controlling, I call his being honest and upfront with his beliefs.
If she follows your advice, gets pregnant, and has an abortion, she can forget having any real future with this boy. She will have exposed herself to be a self-centered liar willing to dismiss his feelings in order to get laid. He has the right to his beliefs, damn it, and I would have expected you, of all people, to understand that. Purple State Girl
A: I thought my response last week to the guy who wanted to fuck his brothers girlfriend go for it! would be the one that sent turds through turbines, not my advice for OBGYN. Gee, I had no idea that abortion was such a contentious issue.
But theres a salient point that my furious readers, pro- and anti-choice, seemed to overlook: I was fucked up when I wrote that column, and I said so.
Still, I stand by my advice, however impaired I was when I wrote it. Whats more, PSG, I specifically reject your characterization of my advice for OBGYN. I didnt advise her to lie to her controlling boyfriend, get pregnant, and then have an abortion. Lets go to the videotape: So if you do stay with him, and you agree (or pretend to agree) to his conditions ... See? I didnt tell her to lie. I merely laid out lying as one of her options. I then went on to tell OBGYN to use condoms, take the pill, get a diaphragm and cross her fingers. If she takes my advice on using every available means of birth control at her disposal, she wont have to worry about getting an abortion.
Q: You told OBGYN to use birth control and cross your fingers. There is no need for luck! She can fully protect herself by doing the basics. Pills or hormone patches used correctly give you 99 percent protection, and she should be using a condom too, to protect herself against STDs. If OBGYN takes these two basic precautions, not even the Holy Ghost can get her pregnant. Over Thirty
A: Thanks for sharing, OT, but didnt the Holy Ghost knock up at least one teenager already?
Q: Your advice to OBGYN was missing something: They can avoid conflict by avoiding pregnancy. Ive never heard of someone getting pregnant from anal sex! Also, in the interests of being egalitarian, anal sex should include taking turns. That is, she should strap it on and fuck his anti-choice ass frequently. Pink Pearl
A: Anal sex of course! Why didnt I think of that?
Actually, I did think of that, and it was in the first draft of my advice to OBGYN: Or let him fuck your ass but only if you get to fuck his ass too. But I took it out because I didnt want to be accused of promoting anal sex acts to impressionable teenagers. Thats Wonkettes job.
Q: Im sure I wont be the only person who points this out, but if OBGYN continues her relationship with her boyfriend and she does get pregnant, there is a distinct possibility that he could harm her physically. Many thousands of pregnant women get beaten or killed all over the world because what they want to decide or have decided about their pregnancies is contrary to what their husbands or boyfriends want. If hes made his preferences clear, it doesnt look like OBGYN has any choice but to stop gambling and find someone who isnt controlling and anti-choice. Stop Violence Against Women
A: You make a good point, SVAW, thanks for sharing.
Q: Let me get this straight: A girl loves a boy. They have a sincere moral disagreement about abortion. Boy adopts an arguably principled stand, i.e., I wont fuck you unless I know it wont lead to an abortion, a position you endorsed in another column. Girl faces quandary, asks your advice. Your response? Fuck him, whats he gonna do about it? What?
You disparage him as controlling. Why? Because he is willing to control his actions based on principle? So your advice to 18-year-old, newly minted adults in love, is that its OK to lie to and manipulate each other? Fed Up
A: If you hated my published advice to OBGYN, FU, you really would have hated the paragraph I cut that wasnt about anal sex: So your boyfriend is against abortion? Yeah, I bet he is. A lot of boys are when an unplanned pregnancy is an abstraction, OBGYN. You can test his anti-choice resolve by telling him youre already pregnant and then seeing what he says. He may feel a bit differently about abortion when fatherhood and child-support payments are staring him in his pimply-ass face.
Q: Your excuse for being hungover while writing your last column (last nights game went into extra innings, so I had extra beers) doesnt seem consistent with the rules regarding alcohol sales at Major League Baseball games. Beer sales end when the seventh inning ends and do not start up again in extra innings. Why lie to your loyal readers? Beer and Baseball Wizard
A: Because theyre there? Because I can? Just because?
Heres the whole truth, BABW: Our team was losing in the eighth, so we ducked out early. On our way to a cab, our team tied it up, so we ducked into a bar me, the boyfriend, the kid where we watched the rest of the game, which went on for extra innings and extra beers.
Q: In your Adults advice on growing up gay column, Small Town Diva suggested that gay boys and girls join theater groups because even the strait actors are bi. This has got to be one of the oldest stereotypes in the book. Im a strait actor. While I do meet more gay people than someone in another profession would, I still have more strait actor friends than gay actor friends. If youre gay and want to be an actor, great. But if youre gay and expect every actor you meet to be gay too, just move along, please. A Strait Actor
A: Its been my experience that most straight people can spell the world straight. But, hey, thanks for sharing, Tom, and give my love to Katie.
Q: As Im sure you know, there is one foolproof way of assuring a woman has had an orgasm and it isnt a brain scan. Its visual and one can get a good view from the doggie style position. Wink, wink. Tim Watches in Tims Chicago Home
A: Im sure I dont know what youre talking about, TWITCH, but Im passing on your insight in the interest of science.
Q: I noticed you insulted a certain advice seeker by calling him an unbelievable pussy. What have you got against unbelievable pussy, anyway? Pussy Lover
A: Youre not a regular reader of my column, are you?Send letters to firstname.lastname@example.org