- James Noellert
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries philosopher Emil Cioran wrote, “When I meet friends or people I know who are going through a difficult period, I usually have this advice for them: ‘Spend 20 minutes in a cemetery, and you’ll see that, though your worry won’t disappear, you’ll almost forget about it and you’ll feel better.’” I don’t think you’re weathering a terribly difficult phase right now, Aries, but you may be dealing with more riddles and doubts and perplexities than you’re comfortable with. You could be feeling a bit darker and heavier than usual. And I think Cioran’s advice would provide you with the proper stimulation to transform your riddles and doubts and perplexities into clarity and grace and aplomb. If you can do Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here’s a costume suggestion: the spirit of a dead ancestor.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to some spiritual teachers, desire interferes with our quest for illumination. It diverts us from what’s real and important. I know gurus who even go so far as to say that our yearnings deprive us of freedom; they entrap us and diminish us. I strongly disagree with all those ideas. I regard my longing as a primary fuel that energizes my drive to free myself from pain and nonsense. How about you, Taurus? In alignment with astrological omens, I authorize you to deepen and refine and celebrate the yearning in your heart. Your title/nickname could be: 1. Yearning Champion. 2. Desire Virtuoso. 3. Connoisseur of Longing.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Author Jessamyn West confessed, “I am always jumping into the sausage grinder and deciding, even before I’m half ground, that I don’t want to be a sausage after all.” I offer her testimony as a cautionary tale, Gemini. There’s no astrological reason, no cosmic necessity, that decrees you must become like a sausage anytime soon. Such a fate can be easily avoided. All you must do is commit yourself to not jumping into the sausage grinder. Also: In every way you can imagine, don’t be like a sausage. (To meditate on sausage-ness, read the Wikipedia entry: tinyurl.com/SausageMetaphor)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Our fellow Cancerian, author Franz Kafka, told us, “It is often safer to be in chains than to be free.” And yes, some of us Crabs go through phases when we crave safety so much that we tolerate, even welcome, being in chains. But the fact is that you’re far more likely to be safe if you are free, not in chains. And according to my reading of the astrological omens, that’s extra true for you now. If you can celebrate Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here are costume suggestions: runaway prisoner, escape artist, freedom fighter.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Some of us yearn for allies who can act like saviors: rescue us from our demons and free us from our burdensome pasts and transform us into the beauties we want to become. On the other hand, some of us do all this hard work by ourselves: rescue ourselves from our demons and free ourselves from our burdensome pasts and transform ourselves into the beauties we want to become. I highly recommend the latter approach for you in the coming weeks, Leo. If you can do Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here is a costume suggestion: your own personal savior.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “One of the reasons people are so unhappy is they don’t talk to themselves,” says author Elizabeth Gilbert. “You have to keep a conversation going with yourself throughout your life,” she continues, “to see how you’re doing, to keep your focus, to remain your own friend.” Now is a favorable time to try such an experiment, Virgo. And if you already have skill in the art of carrying on a vibrant dialog with yourself, now is a perfect moment to upgrade and refine it. Try this experiment: Imagine having a conversation with the Future You.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “In the absence of willpower, the most complete collection of virtues and talents is worthless.” Libran occultist Aleister Crowley wrote that, and I agree. But let’s phrase his idea more positively: To make full use of your virtues and talents, you must develop a strong willpower. And here’s the good news, Libra: The coming weeks will be a favorable time to cultivate your willpower, along with the assets that bolster it, like discipline, self-control, and concentration. If you can do Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here are accessories I recommend for you to carry with you, no matter what your costume is: a wand, a symbolic lightning bolt, an ankh, an arrow, a Shiva lingam stone or crystal.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mardi Gras is a boisterous festival that happens every February all over the planet. One hotspot is New Orleans. The streets there are filled with costumed revelers who enjoy acting in ways that diverge from their customary behavior. If you want to ride on a float in the parade that snakes down Royal Street, you must, by law, wear a festive mask. I invite all of you Scorpios to engage in similar festivities for the next three weeks — even if you're not doing much socializing or partying. It’s a favorable time to experiment with a variety of alternate identities. Would you consider adopting a different persona or two? How could you have fun playing around with your self-image?
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Jungian psychotherapist and storyteller Clarissa Pinkola Estés reminds us, “In fairy tales, tears change people, remind them of what is important, and save their very souls.” I hope you’re open to the possibility of crying epic, cathartic, catalytic tears in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. According to my analysis, you have a prime opportunity to benefit from therapeutic weeping. It could chase your fears and cure your angst and revivify your soul. So please take advantage of this gift from life. Be like a superhero whose superpower is to generate healing by crying.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Filmmaker Wim Wenders said, “Any film that supports the idea that things can be changed is a great film in my eyes.” I’ll expand upon that: “Any experience, situation, influence, or person that supports the idea that things can be changed is great.” This is a useful and potentially inspiring theme for you to work with right now, Capricorn. In accordance with astrological rhythms, I hope you will be a connoisseur and instigator of beneficial, beautiful transformations.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Fitness buff Jack LaLanne was still doing his daily workout when he was 95. He was also famous for performing arduous feats. At age 65, for example, he swam a mile through Japan’s Lake Ashinoko while towing 65 boats filled with 6,500 pounds of wood pulp. I think you’re currently capable of a metaphorically comparable effort, Aquarius. One way to do it is by mastering a psychological challenge that has previously seemed overwhelming. So meditate on where your extra strength would be best directed, and use it wisely! If you can do Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here are costume suggestions: fitness buff, bodybuilder, marathon runner, yoga master.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When birdwatchers describe a bird, they speak of its “jizz.” This term refers to the distinctive character of its habitual movements, flying style, posture, vocal mannerisms, and coloring. One aficionado defines jizz as the bird’s “indefinable quality,” or the “vibe it gives off.” I’ve got a theory that right now you’re as bird-like as you’ve ever been. You seem lighter and freer than usual, less bound to gravity and solemnity, and more likely to break into song. Your fears are subsiding because you have the confidence to leave any situation that’s weighing you down. If you can do Halloween without risk from COVID-19, here’s a costume suggestion: the bird that has your favorite kind of jizz.
This week’s homework: Tell me what worked for you when all else failed.