News & Views » Columns

From bad to verse



The Detroit Board of Police Commissioners is sponsoring a poetry contest designed to let college-bound high school seniors express their vision for the Police Department’s relationship with the youth of this city.

“Super Care Packages” containing supplies designed to assist students during their first year of college and valued at $500 will be awarded to three poets. The theme is the “ideal Relationship between the Detroit Police Department and Generation Y.” Deadline for submissions is May 1. More information can be obtained by phoning 313-596-2493.

Now, admittedly, we here at News Hits are several letters removed from Gen Y, but the press release announcing this contest stirred our inner Longfellow, and inspired us to produce a few rhymes of our own:

Welcome to the D.

Jerry O got the razz/when he first hit Motown/ The papers said he got a jazz/ Pushing his ex-wife around/ But domestic problems aside/ Oli can say with some pride/ That police shootings of civilians in this town/ are now way down.

Ode to Ashcroft

There once was a chief named Oliver/ Whose department had malcontents all over/ But Jerry didn’t care/ Warned the troops to beware/ And the Justice Department still hovers there.

And, finally, a haiku:

Brass balls

At war with Jerry
Street beat double entendre
Irate cops scare us.

Send comments to

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.