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Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

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I’ve made up a list and I’ve checked it twice! MB14 feels naughty not nice! • Diana DeGarmoBlue Skies (RCA) :: And you thought Jewel was stacked. • Mix Master MikeBangzilla (Scratch) :: I knew Steinski. Steinski was a friend of mine. Beastie Boy, you’re no Steinski. • Gym Class HeroesThe Papercut EP (Fueled By Ramen) :: I bet Dylan wishes he could write a line like: “She’s the reason for the lesions.” • Matt SharpMatt Sharp (Boompa) :: Plaintive music so utterly anguished yet hauntingly beautiful it’s almost too painful to listen to. • Strung OutExile In Oblivion (Fat Wreck Chords) :: Lame grunge band called Strung Out begins its record by stealing 20 seconds of Billie Holiday, geddit? Well, don’t get it. • JakalopeIt Dreams (Orange) :: Proof positive that anyone with a Mac can ape NIN and record Jamming With Reznor. • Simple PlanNot Getting Any (Lava) :: Sure they’re not. That’s why there’s a flier stuck inside that shills the songs on their new album as ring tones at $2.50 a pop. • JemFinally Woken (ATO) :: Narcotic and erotic music to read Edward Gorey by. • EnoMusic For Christmas (Island) :: Fooled ya, didn’t I? • Lesbians on Ecstasy — Lesbians on Ecstasy (Alien8) :: Today on Maury: Women who love women and the fishy records they make. • WestlifeAllow Us to Be Frank (RCA) :: A pack of real rats could sing better than these four fops. • SIZZLING PLATTER OF THE WEEK: Vampire Beach BabesBeach Blanket Bedlam! (Divine Idustries Inc.) :: By combining the feisty fiesta vocals of the B-52s with the seamy archirony of the Cramps, these fun-loving culture vultures are the kitschiest thing to hit the surf since Eric Von Zipper hung 10. • Be seeing you!

Jeffrey Morgan is a freelance writer. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com

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