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Jeffrey Morgan’s Media Blackout

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EDITOR'S NOTE: The editorial board of Metro Times would like to correct a number of items which originally appeared as statements of fact over the past three years in the weekly column Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout. A thorough investigation into this matter has determined that all of the statements in question made by Mr. Morgan were, in fact, completely false and deliberately made to misinform and obfuscate. Metro Times regrets the errors.

CORRECTIONS: Martha Raye is not the mother of Johnny Ray. Brian Jones was not pushed. Elvis is not Orion. Nothing happens if you watch Pink Floyd at Pompeii while listening to Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall.

Alice Cooper did not play Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver. Axl Rose is not a member of Falun Gong. Eugene Levy never sued John Lennon. Jerry Mathers was not killed in Vietnam and he is not the father of Eminem.

Lou Christie does not make good cookies. Bob Dylan was not replaced by a double after dying in a motorcycle accident. The Beatles are not Klatuu. Ricky Nelson is not a member of Cheap Trick.

A horribly disfigured Kurt Cobain is not alive and hidden away in a private sanitarium. The woman heard yelling "'Paint It Black,' you devils!" on Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out is not Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme. Mick Jagger did not kill the Kennedys and neither did you. Will Rogers never met Allen Klein.

The New Vaudeville Band never released an album titled Jesse Winchester's Cathedral. Robert Johnson was not stood up at the crossroads. Clapton is not God. Andy Warhol did not produce Screaming Lord Sutch And Heavy Friends.

Paul is not dead. Jim isn't alive, man. Lou Reed and Rex Reed are not twin brothers. Lester Bangs did not play Michael Stivic on All in the Family.

Pete Townshend never took part in the Battle of Britain. Paul Reubens did not replace Freddie Mercury in Queen. John Bonham was not one of the Marx Brothers. Slade was not illiterate.

The Band did not record Music From Pink Floyd. Bryan Ferry never crossed the Mersey. Nobody was the fifth Beatle. And, in the end, the love you take isn't equal to the love you make.

Jeffrey Morgan will not be seeing you.

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