May auld acquaintance be Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout #151!
The Cinematics — A Strange Education (TVT) :: For torching a Remington typewriter on the front cover, they get an E. But if it's only a Photoshop fire, then they get an F for fake.
Big Business — Here Come the Waterworks (Hydra Head) :: Led Zeppelin crashes into Black Sabbath. Oh, the inhumanity!
Eno — Here Come the Warm Jets (Island) :: Waterworks, geddit?
Deaf School — "Golden Showers" (Warner Bros.) :: Warm jets, geddit?
The Stranglers — "Golden Brown" (EMI) :: Ewwww, fergeddit.
Saosin — Saosin (Capitol) :: Memo to muggers: These whiny pushovers have VICTIM written all over them.
Wintersleep — Wintersleep (Labwork) :: So do these guyzzzzz.
The Cicadas — The Cicadas (Roble Rot) :: Huey Lewis goes country!
Sara Wendt — Weightless With Love (City Canyons) :: Buddhist rock is the Next Big Thing, so get on board before this llama leaves the Potala. Perfect listening for reading T. Lobsang Rampa or watching Lost Horizon.
Beatnik Beatch — Beatnik Beatch (Noble Rot) :: If you collect album covers with midgets on them, then this reissue's for you.
D.O.A. — Bloodied but Unbowed (Sudden Death) :: One of their songwriting credits is: "Vancouver Punk Trad." They wish.
Snatches of Pink — Love Is Dead (8th House) :: Raucously rawer than the Stones on smack but too pussy to call themselves Pink Snatch.
The Rolling Stones — "Torn and Frayed" (Rolling Stones) :: Ever notice how the singer breaks up and laughs between the words "kick" and "it"?
Walter Carlos — Switched on Bach (Columbia) :: Say, whatever happened to seminal synthesizer pioneer Walter Carlos? I haven't seen his name on an album in decades.
SIZZLING ROCK GODDESS OF ANY CENTURY: Grace Slick — Period (Grunt) :: "White Rabbit." "rejoyce." "Two Heads." "Lather." "Bear Melt." "Hey Fredrick." "Eskimo Blue Day." "Mexico." "Law Man." She's the undisputed all-time greatest female singer-songwriter in the entire history of rock 'n' roll. And although it's true that she never recorded an album called Period, after waxing her Manhole, she sure should've.
Orson Welles — F For Fake (Elmyr de Hory) :: Geddit?
Be seeing you next year!