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No faith in Handyside

Re: Chris Handyside’s review of the White Stripes’ Get Behind Me Satan, “Yo, Jack” (Metro Times, June 8), doesn’t Chris Handyside realize — as the “author” of an unauthorized biography on Jack and Meg White, a piece full of conjecture, assumptions and impressions presented as “fact” by him — that his vile remarks about media manipulation and calculated moves by the Stripes with regard to their fans are simply not in the least bit credible? In fact, these particular accusations and assumptions are offensive on multiple levels. Guess what, Mr. Handyside? This is still a great record in spite of the poisonous dart you tried to aim at it.

Bottom line: The Stripes are successful artists while you are simply someone observing from the sidelines who duped their fans into believing that your book had something worthwhile to say. You had no right to profit off them without their blessing to begin with, so, honestly, your character was put far into question long before you had this little immature literal fit so erroneously passed off as a “review.”

Great band, great record. You are not their best friend. Get over it. —Suzetta Walters, Pass Christian, Miss., kitkatz@gmail.com

 

Sniping over Stripes

Chrissy, I think your review on the new White Stripes album is ignorant at best. You did not tell me anything about the record. It was more of a sissy-ass rant about the beef between you and Jack. I cannot take a word of what you wrote seriously. Jack and Meg are more successful than any rock band to come out of Detroit in a long time, so it is not surprising that there would be gold diggers and backstabbers lurking — yes, you are one of them. I used to respect your reviews, but after the Get Behind Me Satan review, I won’t read a word that you write. It was unprofessional for you to even write the review when you know that the White Stripes were not happy with your preemie of a “book.”

The fact is, Fell in Love with a Band is a joke! I hope that you got to pay a few parking tickets with the money you made (and continue to make off Jack and Meg’s sweat). Maybe you and Jim Diamond can start a support group for recovering White Stripe junkies — you know, tell each other your problems with sniffing the butts of two rock stars that left you behind.

Did you think you really burned Jack by calling him John? That is a real burn! Oh, snap!

I’m sure that really broke his heart, maybe he will tell Bob Dylan about it someday.

Do yourself a favor, keep personal problems out of our Metro Times. —Richard D. Tupica, Grosse Pointe Park

 

Give me some truth

Re: “Street fighter in the halls of Congress” (Metro Times, June 8), I’m glad John Conyers is opening an investigation into the Downing Street memo: Too many people have died, there has been too much pain and destruction. I believed President Bush when he said he had no plans for war, it was the last resort.

Rumsfeld said he knew where the WMD were. Colin Powell showed us pictures, actual pictures of mobile labs. Rice warned of mushroom clouds on the horizon. It turns out they were lying all along. Bush and his underlings lied and deceived us for a year before the war started.

If President Bush was CEO, he would be fired and, more than likely, criminally prosecuted. As president, the only thing that comes to mind is impeachment. —Helen Terry, Seattle, Wash., teeemail@earthlink.net

 

Long road home

Re: “One cheer for the Free Press” (Metro Times, May 25), I read with shared broken-heartedness the travails of the city that reared me. I frequently travel to Detroit from New York. Mostly I drive west on Interstate 80, across the wondrous Allegheny Mountains of Pennsylvania through the sweet smelling cow-pie flats of Ohio, up I-280 to I-75 to the Motor City. There is for me a glorious moment approaching Detroit when the GM Building cylinders come into view. It’s a foretaste, an aperitif, this sighting. It foretells the personal affirmation that I’m really home: the Fisher Building.

As a child I rode my bike to the Fisher when it was still a movie house and for 25 cents I’d watch two full-length feature films, an hour’s worth of cartoons and coming attractions. After I’d walk through the connecting tunnel to the real “GM Building” for imaginary test-drives in the latest offerings from Chevrolet, Buick, Oldsmobile and Cadillac. Those were great memories of ancient times long gone. It’s when summer days seemed to go on forever and low-hanging sunbeams cast long shadows against buildings and trees across wide boulevards.

Things don’t go bad all at once. Crippling takes years. I went to Mackenzie High School when the population was evenly mixed. My mother was an English and music teacher in the public school system. People struggled to make ends meet. But folks from all walks of life had that in common. We struggled and in that struggle we met. We were Detroiters. All might not have been literate in the classic sense of the word, but few were stupid. The recently departed Oscar Brown Jr. said it best: “I may be crazy, but I ain’t no fool.”

So, Jack, what are we to do? Throw the bum out indeed. But then what? I’m not arguing for another term for the self-styled hip-hop mayor. I’m merely suggesting the existence, rather the necessity, of a strategy that states categorically what those next steps might be. I watch both from across those mountains and knee-deep in the trenches (there are those I love intensely who remain) with bated breath.

Though no longer a citizen of Detroit I remain one of her proud sons. My eyes often filled with tears at what has happened, but my heart too swells with both pride and optimism at what she may yet accomplish. —DeForest Raphael, Yonkers, N.Y.

 

Hope and ashes

Re: “A motto for Detroit,” (Metro Times, Feb. 2), I believe the official motto of Detroit is a Latin phrase referring to the fire that destroyed an early settlement fort in 1805. I find it to be relevant to this day and the horrible situation the city is in — and the hope it may someday prevail.

Detroit’s official motto: Speramus Meliora. Resurget Cineribus.

“We hope for better things. It shall rise from the ashes.” —Don Hammond, Bloomfield Hills

 

Thumbs down

Do you know why your video games column is so shitty? Because the dude that writes it sucks big time.

Last week’s reviews of Midnight Club and Splinter Cell particularly aroused the sting of my evil temper. Zinging both Tom DeLay and Keanu Reeves into a single article? How relevant. Using the word “natch”? How gay. Notice how the tone of the Midnight Club review is cyber-pseudokewl, and when he gets to Splinter Cell it’s written like Jim Schaeffer on Quaaludes. Way to be consistent.

The quality of the review is shown in its purest form when the reader is assured that playing a video game is not really like driving around in downtown Detroit. Thanks for the tip. It would also be nice to know whether the game is any good or not. Preferably by being rated on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being “sweet” and 1 being “retarded.” I give your Opposable Thumbs column a 1.

Your boy shouldn’t be allowed to write a fucking postcard. —Dan Keizer, Saint Clair Shores

 

Giving long odds

Re: “House of cards” (Metro Times, May 25), before you start worrying about what will become of the temporary casino locations once the permanent ones get built, let’s wait till we see some solid tangible signs of new casinos being constructed first.

Think about it. The casinos are making plenty of money with relatively low investment off their temporary structures.

The patrons of Detroit’s casinos are almost exclusively locals, or from within a hundred mile radius.

They come into the city for one purpose, to gamble. They don’t come to stay for a weekend vacation of shopping, dining and entertainment. This is Detroit. They drive in, gamble for a few hours, then go straight home.

What then, is the incentive for MGM to invest hundreds of millions of dollars just to shift its customers from a structure labeled “temporary” to one labeled “permanent”?

And why build a hotel that few customers would ever need? The few hotels that currently exist downtown have plenty of vacancies most of the year as it is. I’d say the odds of seeing any permanent casinos with 400-room hotels in the near future are the same as the odds in seeing the Book-Cadillac and the Michigan Central Station ever renovated and functional again — a million to 1. —Kurt Kelly, West Palm Beach, Fla., kkellybass@yahoo.com

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