Arts & Culture » Culture

Meet Mr. Bendy

Q: My penis has bent to the left since I was 14. Before this my penis was straight when erect. I do not remember doing anything to cause any damage. Now in my 30s, I am greatly bothered by this problem. I am still a virgin and deeply want to have my first sexual experience with a woman, but I am concerned with being turned away in the heat of the moment. Having a bent penis has also made it shorter than what it would be if it was straight when erect, and this only makes me feel more frustrated. Why did my penis become bent? Can this be corrected? If so, how? What can I do, if anything, to accept this problem or use it to my advantage?

A: In the minimum 17 years this has been bothering you has it occurred to you to ask a doctor who would know about the body and its anomalies, rather than just sitting around worrying? Some penises are just naturally bent — to the left, the right, up or down. Like noses, that's just how they grow. There is a possibility you have a condition known as Peyronie's Syndrome, and that would need to be diagnosed. If penis size or shape were of such crucial importance that a woman would consider turning you away in the heat of the moment, you can be pretty sure she'd come up with a way to find out before that heated moment. Some women's vaginas form a perfect fit with a penis bent at a particular angle in certain sexual positions. That, however, is something you can't know until you find out firsthand. So see a doctor. Find out what you need to know, and then go about the business of finding a partner with whom to make your sexual discoveries.

Q: Do you have any suggestions for treatments for public hair removal? I have terrible itching after shaving or using hair-removal creams. I am considering trying waxing but I am afraid of the pain. And what if it just grows back the next day?

A: Hair on the mons and vulva is a very common concern. Some suggestions I have heard include using whatever method you do use every day for awhile, not waiting until itchy stubble appears. Waxing is only painful for a moment and I'm told it lasts longer than many other methods. However, hair beginning to grow back after any sort of removal will itch, so keep at it or just let it grow its own natural way.

Q: I work with a girl — cute, but not too pretty, basically a tomboy. There is a truck driver at work, a body builder, whom this girl is friendly with. One night I was working late doing inventory and was all the way up on top of shelving. It was dark, but there are floodlights in the yard. From where I was I was able to look down on the employee parking lot where I saw the truck driver's car parked. Surprised his car was there, I looked closer. I saw that he and this woman from my office were in there kissing passionately. I could see that the driver had his shirt off and the girl's blouse was open. I watched as she worked her way down licking his chest and nipples while he stroked her hair. She then opened his pants and pulled out what seemed like an enormous dick. I watched as she took it in her mouth slowly until she had swallowed the whole thing. She then bobbed her head up and down while the driver ground his hips. She began to pick up speed, eventually bringing him to orgasm, taking every drop in her mouth. When she was finished I watched her lift her head and kiss the driver long and hard. They sat in each other's arms for a while, kissed again, and then drove off. I can't tell you how much this turned me on. Watching them, my dick was like a bar of iron. When they were finished I went right to the bathroom and masturbated. Since then, any time I have sex alone or with someone I think of the two of them in the car together and my orgasms have become much more intense. Am I in danger of this becoming an obsession?

A: It's clear from the details of your letter how this turned you on. Many people have a particular image, sometimes a memory, that turns them on and that they use to crank up arousal. If you begin to act funny around either of those co-workers or take to lurking in the parking lot, I'd say you've taken things too far. Otherwise, enjoy what you will in the privacy of your head. Isadora Alman is a board-certified sexologist and a licensed marriage and family therapist. You can write to her care of this paper or participate in her free interactive sexuality forum at She cannot reply

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