Music » Local Music

Reel 'em in


Best Pick-Up Line

So you’re minding your own business at the supermarket/at the restaurant/while waiting to meet with your parole officer. Suddenly, you’re swept away by a breathtaking vision of looks and charm. It’s your dream mate, standing right there, just waiting for you to come up and carry him or her away into blissful love and a life happily ever after. What do you say?


It’s a no-bullshit, honest approach, the best possible tactic. If the person is at all interested, they’ll respond — and if not, they will probably walk away and you can move on to your next innocent victim.

Obviously, you can’t simply end the conversation with “hi” and then slink off in an embarrassed silence, having used up all your best material. To keep the flow of your advances, follow up with a no-bullshit, honest question or compliment. Don’t tell her you like her dress when your eyes are anchored on her cleavage. Don’t say “Why, oh, yes, I love Sartre too!” when you haven’t the foggiest clue who or what Sartre is. And please, oh, please, do not bring out those old tired lines like “You father must be a thief, because he stole the stars …” or “That’s a great outfit. It would look even better crumpled on my floor tomorrow morning.” At least be original. And don’t be crass: Although “Hey, baby, are you wearing Windex, because I can see myself in your pants” might conceivably win points for creativity, you’re more likely to end up with a scathing reply, or wearing someone’s vodka tonic as your hopeful intentions are thrown — literally — back in your face.

Check out Sarah Klein's discussion of the Best Pick-Up Line to Avoid.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Detroit Metro Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Detroit and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Detroit's true free press free.