FRIGHT FROM THE BINS
The Longines Symphonette Society
The Great Melody Years
I don't know what kind of society The Longines Symphonette was planning on, but clearly it revolved around the worship of cheese. Many people would take exception to the title of this seven-record set just by scanning the song selection since some of the worst songs ever committed to wax can be found within this seven-LP time warp. And you can betcha these Longines Social planners don't miss a one. "Candy Man," "Me and You and A Dog Named Boo," "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast," "A Horse With No Name," "Daughter of Darkness," "Puppy Love" — they're all here, ready to spread their everlovin' stink on ya. My favorite is the bump-and-grinding version of "(They Long to Be) Close to You" which surely never saw the inside of a strip club, unless Allen Funt was in the backroom rolling film. Maybe Rhino Handmade will acquire the rights to re-release this piece of furniture as "Have a Nice Day—at the Dentist!" This is the last of the annual "Great Melody Years" editions the Longines Society inflicted on the world. You can just imagine them in 1973, listening to "Hocus Pocus" by Focus, throwing up their hands and crying, "What the heck do you expect us to do with this?" —Serene Dominic
DOWNLOAD OF THE WEEK
Dial 81 & Nick Speed
"Weed Butter Skull Clap"
New Orleans' funksters the Meters are the most sampled band in hip hop, and their "Hand Clapping Song" is widely sampled. With "Weed Butter," Detroit's Nick Speed offers a boom-bap rendition under Dial 81's bevy of rappity raps about rapping and rocking "like Prussia." — Travis R. Wright