Music » Spun

Spun

Forget Sweatin' to the Oldies; just this cover gets us perspiring!

by

comment
1148142.jpg

FRIGHT FROM THE BINS

Richard Simmons
Reach (Elektra), 1982

Beach Boy Brian Wilson once toyed with the idea doing a musical physical fitness album — but it was left to the world's most annoying talk-show guest to come up with rock's first "exercise album for the ears." Reach is nothing less than Stuart Smalley's disco inferno, an album pickled with sticky self-affirmations like "You're much too smart to break your heart" and "No one means more than you this time." Simmons' voice lies somewhere in the uncomfortable spectrum between Frankie Valli and Carol Channing. And the album's exercise manual is not for the weak of stomach either, as it contains 226 action poses of Simmons impersonating an inflatable sex doll of Leo Sayer. But no other album in all of rock tells you to "eat right and take small bites even when you're alone" and "exhale" ad nauseam, unless there's a Morrissey import someone's not telling us about. Mercifully, this album stiffed and Simmons confined his musical exercises to sweating to the oldies thereafter. But who knows, we may have gotten a follow-up if Dr. Eugene Landy was actively looking for a new codependent or recording project in between writing Sweet Insanity and Brian Wilson's "autobiography." —Serene Dominic

Tags

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at letters@metrotimes.com.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.