In Oakland County crime news, a 19-year-old Rochester Hills man was arrested after he threw two bottles of liquor at another man and it cut the man's face.
Yup, according to The Oakland Press
, on Thursday night, April 7, officers showed up to a home after receiving reports that an assault had taken place.
The victim in the alleged attack, a 20-year-old Bruce Township man, wasn't there when the cops showed up, but they caught up with him at Crittenton Hospital.
It was there that the victim told police he'd been hit by not one but two
bottles of liquor; unfortunately, the type of liquor was not reported, though if we had to hazard a guess we'd go with Stoli Razberi or maybe a Smirnoff varietal.
A statement from the Oakland County Sheriff's Office reports deputies discovered the alleged bottle thrower "running back and forth through the home, locking doors and windows" — because that'll get the police off your trail. Eventually, they were able to get him to unlock the doors and he was taken into custody.
We imagine things went down a bit like this, though wayyy less badass:
Probably more like this:
And obviously, somebody's gonna get grounded over this one.