A MAGA boat parade will travel from Macomb County to Detroit to celebrate Trump's birthday this weekend, and we hope it fucking rains

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MICHAEL VI / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
  • Michael Vi / Shutterstock.com

Just a few weeks after President Donald Trump curiously saluted America's beautiful “boaters” (quotation marks his) during a tweet firestorm, Trump Country and its many beautifully deranged boaters are returning the affection by celebrating POTUS' 74th birthday with a boat parade this weekend.


The Michigan MAGA Boat Parade is the latest of the “Trumptilla” waterway celebrations, the concept that originated in Florida and has organically organized throughout major swing states, and in Michigan's case, swing counties.



Michigan's MAGA Boat Parade will launch out of Poorman's Bay in Harrison Township on Saturday, June 13 — one day before Trump's birthday — and, according to the Facebook event page, will take place regardless of Whitmer's orders or restrictions. Oh, the tyranny!

The event is hosted by the Michigan Conservative Coalition and Michigan Trump Republicans 2020 and anticipates close to 1,000 boaters, as well as three seaplanes, a helicopter, and some drones, the Detroit Free Press reports. The Facebook event page lists more than 770 people who plan on attending, with more than 3,000 marked “interested” in attending.



The parade embarks at 1 p.m., though pre-party gathering will likely start closer to 10 a.m. The parade will pass by the Jefferson Beach Marina area around 2:30 p.m. to collect some more beautiful "boaters" and will end near the Ambassador Bridge in Detroit around 4 p.m.

No boat? No problem! You can parade your Trump-loving rump via car, as there will be a land parade, too, along Jefferson Avenue. Just follow the Trump Unity Bridge, which will be accompanied by bikers for Trump, because why is this happening?!

Participants are encouraged to full-on deck out their seafaring vehicles in pro-Trump, MAGA, and patriotic gear, meaning banners that say, like, “Jeffrey Epstein Didn't Kill Himself” or “ITMFA” will likely be unwelcome. There will also be a contest for the best-looking boat, which will earn that lucky beautiful "boater" an award and recognition.

According to the Facebook event page, the parade aims to be “the biggest boat parade yet.” Boaters will also be utilizing marine Channel 45 to communicate directly during the event, as site administrators claim Facebook is blocking posts from the event.

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