Hey, Macomb and Oakland counties: stop flushing your personal poop wipes


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Not to be shitty, but wiping your ass with disposable wipes is likely causing 90% of municipal sewer backups in Macomb and Oakland County — but the counties' stern message applies to anyone flushing the non-flushable.

That's right, you tenacious toilet cloggers, you. Candice Miller, who is Macomb County's Public Works Commissioner, wants y'all to be aware of this costly problem that could be easily avoided if not for your desire to treat your precious bits to the cool and cleansing sensation that is a disposable wet wipe, Michigan Radio reports.

Miller estimates that these wipes could be accounting for 90% of sewer problems. Not to be totally disgusting, but Miller says the wipes, once flushed, get tangled together and become rope-like, which, in turn, choke sanitary sewer pumps by wrapping around the underground machinery, which then causes sloppy and stinkin' backups.

A lot of these wipes, though labeled disposable and flushable are not really because they're not technically biodegradable. People using these as baby wipes, or to remove makeup or general surface cleaning around the home, have turned to flushing these wipes rather than disposing of them in the trash as intended. Hell, even science is like, wait a minute, that shit is not flushable.

Oh, and this isn't unique to Macomb and Oakland County. In fact, since the pandemic, people all across the country are clogging toilets and sewer systems with their wet wipe fixation. And it's been a pandemic-long issue. Last spring, when COVID-19 was the cause behind many supply shortages, including very flushable toilet paper, communities were finding that people had resorted to using facial tissue, paper towel, and wet wipes as tp alternatives, none of which are intended for flushing, all of which pose costly sewer problems.

Over in the UK, these wet wipes have overrun the systems so horribly, that officials estimated that it costs the country £100m per year to repair these issues which is why they have considered a ban on wet wipes. Per Michigan Radio, Miller isn't going to enforce such extreme measures, but she does want to make a push for Michigan's state legislature to properly label these wipes as “non-flushable.”

Because wipes don't break down like toilet paper (in fact, some wipes, including baby wipes, contain plastic), the sewers of the world are in, well, a world of shit. Need proof? Just look at these images when you're not eating.

So, just, like, stop, OK?

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