Love Stinks

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Long before and long after J. Geils declared it, love did, does and forever shall stink. Especially when a painfully average guy, Seth (French Stewart), is swooped down upon by a Victoria’s Secret vulture, Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson), who is in the market for a big engagement ring and the even bigger dummy who is willing to give it to her.

She does an admirable job of raising the gold digger standard, shoveling past the wallet into the confused flatulent bowels – he gets a colonic he didn’t order – of her beau, Seth. And he, a well-to-do, if "emotionally constipated," television producer in his mid-30s, fights back by feasting on beans and broccoli before bed.

As if the rectal combat weren’t enough, the love-hate relationship spawns crazy, diabolical stunts, including giving a cat a ride on a bungee cord, putting Nair in a shampoo bottle and pretending to toss a pair of $10,000 earrings into the ocean.

Not that Seth did anything wrong, mind you; he just decided it was time to get rid of Ms. High Maintenance and take up with that buxom air-headed actress he’s been claiming to have no interest in. But, surprise, the only action Seth will be getting for a while is the legal kind. Chelsea files a lawsuit to recover the money she would have earned decorating her clients’ homes instead of spending her time and energy forcing Seth to his arthritic knee of proposal.

Sporting a very snappy-looking toupee after the Nair debacle, Seth spends most of the movie battling it out with his would-be ex, creating some very funny moments that make Love Stinks the perfect post-breakup movie – even if nobody who sees it will want to admit that they can actually relate.

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