Love Stinks

by

comment

Long before and long after J. Geils declared it, love did, does and forever shall stink. Especially when a painfully average guy, Seth (French Stewart), is swooped down upon by a Victoria’s Secret vulture, Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson), who is in the market for a big engagement ring and the even bigger dummy who is willing to give it to her.

She does an admirable job of raising the gold digger standard, shoveling past the wallet into the confused flatulent bowels – he gets a colonic he didn’t order – of her beau, Seth. And he, a well-to-do, if "emotionally constipated," television producer in his mid-30s, fights back by feasting on beans and broccoli before bed.

As if the rectal combat weren’t enough, the love-hate relationship spawns crazy, diabolical stunts, including giving a cat a ride on a bungee cord, putting Nair in a shampoo bottle and pretending to toss a pair of $10,000 earrings into the ocean.

Not that Seth did anything wrong, mind you; he just decided it was time to get rid of Ms. High Maintenance and take up with that buxom air-headed actress he’s been claiming to have no interest in. But, surprise, the only action Seth will be getting for a while is the legal kind. Chelsea files a lawsuit to recover the money she would have earned decorating her clients’ homes instead of spending her time and energy forcing Seth to his arthritic knee of proposal.

Sporting a very snappy-looking toupee after the Nair debacle, Seth spends most of the movie battling it out with his would-be ex, creating some very funny moments that make Love Stinks the perfect post-breakup movie – even if nobody who sees it will want to admit that they can actually relate.

E-mail comments to letters@metrotimes.com.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at letters@metrotimes.com.

Detroit Metro Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Detroit and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Detroit's true free press free.