It’s a minor revelation that the brilliant cynics who oversee the Motorbooty collective have decided to believe that, indeed, the world will survive past Dec. 31, 1999 at all. But evidence of their faith is now available for you to consume.
The United Booty Workers have built their calendar around the theme: "Usher in a new era with scenes from the beginning of time." To wit, head Booty art guy Mark Dancey has created 12 illustrations based on the creation myths of cultures ranging from Babylonia (June) to Norse (March), Maori (April) to Nation of Islam (November), each annotated with a quickie synopsis of the myth (and, of course, a bit of the mag’s no-holds-barred commentary).
Think about it: Do you really need another year of looking at Ansel Adams landscapes or, worse, passing countless cubicle hours contemplating outdated scenes from "Dilbert"?
In the Motorbooty universe, each month reveals a world of snarky fun to be had. Play along at home and try to guess which holidays are real and which are pure Motorbooty fiction! Adopt their holidays for your own: "Pick on Someone Your Own Size Day" (Feb. 11), "Revisionist History Month" (June), "Chulalongkorn and I Don’t Care Day" (Thailand, Oct. 23). Contemplate the past as you plunge headlong into the future with such nuggets of history as (Motorbooty notes) occurred on March 28 when "Robert Johnson sells soul to devil, sells ass to Vocalion, 1936," or on May 17, when "Waldo, golden retriever incarnation of Shirley MacLaine, dies of intestinal parasites, 1888." It’s a good year to start taking the piss out of blowhards, ideologues and idiots. Motorbooty shows the way and now you can play along at home every day of the year. Oh, yeah, act now and receive a free day (December 32nd)!
E-mail comments to email@example.com.
We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Detroit Metro Times. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Detroit Metro Times, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Support Local Journalism.
Join the Detroit Metro Times Press Club
Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.
Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.
Join the Metro Times Press Club for as little as $5 a month.