Queer gear


OK, Moral Majority, listen up. Not that you read this paper, but hopefully someone who does will slip this review into a Bible or Republican newsletter where you can stumble upon it. There’s something you’ve gotta know: There’s a book that belongs not just on the shelves of every high school library in the country, but in their required reading curricula as well.

Don’t get excited, it’s not the Bible. It’s the XY Survival Guide, which may as well be a bible for anyone who’s ever been young and gay — or young and curious, or young and questioning, or young and closeted.

Now, before you start that bullshit about who should and shouldn’t survive (everyone has the right to life, remember?), think about these statistics, brought to you courtesy of the kewl kids who compiled this handy quick-reference guide and who also publish the equally hip XY Magazine. “Gay and lesbian youth represent 30 percent of all completed teen suicide: Extrapolation shows this means a successful suicide attempt by a gay teen every 5 hours and 48 minutes.”

Right, then. So maybe, if more kids had access to a book like this, with its lists of gay-friendly all-ages clubs, coming-out resources, support groups and other resources, a few of those suicides might be prevented. And maybe more gay kids could feel the sense of self-confidence and pride the book promotes with its information about legal, health and relationship issues, drugs and what they’ll do to you, gay history, great date videos and how-to lessons on anal sex — whoops, I mean, “tea with grandma,” as the book euphemistically calls it. It’s even got a section about dealing with homophobia at school, and forming alliances between gay and straight students. Stuff you gotta know, if you’re gonna survive and be happy with who you are.

So, Moral Majority — call off the book-burning party. This one’s going to be sold out, and soon. You’ll be lucky to find a page to use as kindling.

To order call toll free 1-877-996-0930, or e-mail survival@xy.com.

Alisa Gordaneer is MT features editor. E-mail her at agordaneer@metrotimes.com.

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