by Lee DeVito
Are you a high level Cleric or Druid living within a commutable distance of Flint, Michigan? If so, then we have the JOB for YOU! The City of Flint and Michigan Department of Environmental Quality (MDEQ) is looking for a high-level Cleric or Druid to repeatedly cast the 1st-level transmutation (ritual) spell "Purify Food and Drink."
Don't get us wrong, our municipal water supply, coming from the Flint River, is (not) NOT contaminated with lead, not to mention fecal coliform bacteria, total trihalomethanes, and other contaminants, and is (not) NOT hurting children, which has (not) NOT been confirmed by multiple independents studies and the state's own records.
We still like the idea of a Cleric or Druid going door to door and casting this borderline cantrip over Flint residents' bathtubs. Really, we'll try ANYTHING before switching back to the less-corrosive water supplied by Detroit. After all, entertaining our magical thinking and fiscal fantasies is much more important than the health of 100,000 vulnerable people.
Please feel free to contact Michigan Governor Rick Snyder about this job. He will be happy to answer all questions — the tougher the better! :) LOL — at show contact info or here: https://somgovweb.state.mi.us/GovRelations/ShareOpinion.aspx
If you lack the power to cast this spell, you may nevertheless be interested in helping those who can turn dirty water into clean: http://www.unitedwaygenesee.org/civicrm/contribute/transact?reset=1&id=5