WHO RAISED YOU?
That's the first thing that comes to mind when we think about the fact that people might actually attend something called a "Dwarf Toss" at a strip club
. Don't get us wrong, strip clubs are great. Tossing people against a wall because you get off on ridicule, on the other hand, is not.
You wanna throw something against a wall? Here's a few things that are totally great for that:
1.) Those slimy hand things
they sell in quarter machines. You can get twelve of those things for $5.75 on Amazon
, which is way less that you'll probably spend at a strip club.
2.) A tennis ball
. It's actually really therapeutic and it makes that cool noise that tennis balls make. You know the noise.
3.) Potato salad
. Now we're not recommending you do this unless you're fine with the clean-up, but it's got the perfect consistency to stick for a minute and then slide down. If you have friends, have a potato salad race.
4.) Bad books
. When you find a book you hate, throw it against a wall. We do it all the time in our office and can vouch for its amusement and satisfaction.
. It runs a relatively low risk of damaging anything and hey, why not?
And if you're someone that thinks the Dwarf Toss event sounds like a great night out, we'd ask that you immediately throw yourself against a wall, you piece of shit.