Ahh — sweet, sweet summertime. How we long for you in the bitter days of a Michigan winter! Here are some sure signs that it is officially summertime in metro Detroit.
1. When Mother Nature can't decide if it's still winter or not.
There's always that one last snow storm in
May to remind us that we live in Michigan and Mother Nature likes to fuck with our feelings.
2. When you see more orange barrels on the road than cars.
It's like we skip spring and go straight to construction season.
3. When the line for a food truck in Campus Martius is longer than the women's bathroom at any sporting event.
People finally crawl out of their offices once the weather is nice and it becomes the Hunger Games to get food.
4. Movement Music Festival happens and you're reminded that techno is not for you.
There are no words.
5. When "it's nice out" becomes your only excuse to have a drink.
We think that's called enabling — but to each his own, right?
6. When you eat that first hot dog of the baseball season at Comerica Park.
We know you're just going to Tigers games for the hotdogs and overpriced beer.
7. Going to the Eastern Market is like being a sardine in a tin can.
SO. MANY. PEOPLE.
8. When The Whitney has garden parties and it looks fancy as hell.
We are not worthy of such sophistication.
9. When people think the "beach" at Campus Martius is a literal beach.
Sure, let your kids play in the sand. But leave the bathing suit and sand toys at home. It's basically a giant litter box, people.
10. You only eat at restaurants with outdoor patios so you can get that summer tan.
The sun is only going to be around for a few more months — get that tan while you can!
11. When you see more bikes downtown than cars.
With the combination of Slow Roll and those cycle pubs that you can drink on, Detroit is turning into a bicyclist hotspot.
12. When going "up north" is the only vacation you take.
You know those people from up state hate us, too.
13. When kids run more for the ice cream truck than they ever did for gym class.
P.E. teachers everywhere are crying.
14. When the first "nice day" happens and everyone dresses like it's 90° out.
Excuse me, but it's 50 degrees and overcast — not 85 and sunny.
15. And finally, when we all collectively complains that it's too damn hot out. We can never be happy.
Us, too Mama June. Us, too.