New dating website matches you with Canadians in case Trump is elected President

by

comment
SCREENSHOT FROM WEBSITE
  • Screenshot from website

Since Donald Trump has secured the Republican nomination for this headache election, it is now a very real possibility that this oversized Oompa Loompa could be our next President. So what do you do if this nightmare becomes a reality? Move to Canada, of course!

Since 19% of Americans said they would move to Canada if Trump is elected, one smart person came up with the idea that we wish we had thought of: a dating website that matches you with people who are seeking love in Canada.  

The website is called Maple Match and it is genius. The website boasts that, "Maple Match makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency." Can Tinder do that? We think not! 

As of right now, you can add your name to a waiting list before the website fully launches. When that happens, you will be paired up with a friendly Canadian (hopefully in Windsor, am I right??) who is looking to save a depressed American. Are you finding love in a hopeless place? Sure, but at that point, everything will be hopeless. 



ri.gif

So come November, if all hell breaks loose and you're wondering how the fuck this actually happened — do the right thing and sign up for Maple Match so we can Make Dating Great Again. 

We’re keeping you informed…
...and it’s what we love to do. From local politics and culture to national news that hits close to home, Metro Times has been keeping Detroit informed for years.

It’s never been more important to support local news sources. A free press means accountability and a well-informed public, and we want to keep our unique and independent reporting available for many, many years to come.

If quality journalism is important to you, please consider a donation to Metro Times. Every reader contribution is valuable and so appreciated, and goes directly to support our coverage of critical issues and neighborhood culture. Thank you.