Ahh, the Woodward Dream Cruise. The first sign that summer is about to end and it's time for the kiddies to go back to school, it's also another sign for metro Detroiters to avoid Woodward and its neighboring roads at all cost. Sure — looking at the old classic cars are kinda cool, but the traffic and surge of clueless tourists is a pretty big buzzkill. Here are 10 thoughts and annoyances that we all experience when the Dream Cruise rolls into town.
1. When the actual Cruise hasn't even officially started and there are already vintage cars cruising around in Ferndale and Royal Oak.
Please go home.
2. When you're trying to meet your friends for brunch but oh wait, there is zero parking anywhere near Woodward.
When the Dream Cruise interrupts brunch, no one is happy.
3. When the traffic is so bad and you haven't moved in 20 minutes.
Lord, give me strength.
4. When you see a modern car cruising with all the classics.
Go home. Again.
5. When some guy is really proud of his hot rod.
Good for you, sir. Good for you.
6. When you realize that the Woodward Dream Cruise is all about celebrating cars and we still have the worst public transportation ever.
What's a subway?
7. When you spot Bob Seger in the crowd soaking it all in.
This is your playground, Bob.
8. When you wish that the Magic Bag would still put up hilarious things on their marquee about how awful the Cruise is.
"Redneck traffic jam."
9. When you see a car that you actually think looks kinda cool.
TRYING TO ACT LIKE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE CARS BUT OKAY FINE THEY'RE KINDA COOL I GUESS.
10. And finally, when all the people go back from wherever they came from and Woodward is restored to just a normal street again.
THANKS BE TO GOD.